Category: Uncategorized

I had finished up with my shower and took a look at myself in the mirror from bottom to top. I had mixed emotions about this. In my previous posts you have journeyed with me to see how I went about jump starting my body to get pregnant and the roller coaster that was. This seems similar but different.

It’s different because now we have our 3 babies and it is  hard for me to say that , the chapter of planning to have more pregnancies is now done. There is so much that went into us having our children that I didn’t realize it would be a journey as well after that chapter closed. For one, even though I just had our baby girl last year, she has been growing up so fast , determined to be independent and keep up with her brothers which I love but I didn’t realize how much I would miss just having a newborn or planning for another baby.

I have also come to the realization that my “snap back body” that I had after our two boys is actually in a “hold up , wait a minute” phase haha! It is taking much longer to shed the pounds this time but after I brought that mirror back up to my face I began to encourage myself. “This body has carried 3 big beautiful babies and is still nursing one. I look good. ”

This doesn’t mean that I wont work towards the health and body goals I do have but it does mean that I give myself grace in the time limit it will take to meet those goals. My hormones are realigning and we are still learning new things about having a family of 5. Even in the midst, I love our little Wilson tribe so much and am so grateful for what we do have! It is so rich.  I have learned more about shifting my perspective but still need to remind myself to actually do it sometimes during the moments I need that affirmation the most. So I am sending this message not only to myself but to anyone else that is reading this.

Can we acknowledge what we feel and then reassess to get back to a place of thankfulness? I feel like once I get to that place of deep gratitude for what is presently going on , it helps to fuel whatever goal I have in a positive way rather than sinking into a depression because of what is lacking.

“It is not joy that makes us grateful, it is gratitude that makes us Joyful” – author unknown

For over the past 5 years the original name of the blog was “happily interrupted life”. I poured my heart out in each post ( and so did my husband when he would share from time to time)  and always hoped that the experiences here could bless someone else which is why all of the original content will still remain for any past reference others may need.

2020, wow. It’s been an interesting year thus far, yet I feel so much to share through writing and speaking. My emotions are  full yet I feel inspired in different ways that I want to share with my audience.

Are you still there ? 🙂

I hope you will continue the journey with me through this Mission Filled Life.

I may not always know what will come of each life encounter but I know that it will either refine my character or draw me closer to fulfilling my destiny.

Let’s create a legacy together.

I cannot believe how much time has gone by since I wrote my last blog post!

To say the least ..SO much has happened!

2 moves, 3 babies, 8 years of marriage, new jobs, new business ventures, new missions…GUYS….there is so much to share with all of you.

Over the course of that time I’ve encountered multiple women struggling with PCOS and have sent them right over to HIL to refer to , pretty much what has been my diary of our journey thus far concerning that part of our life amongst other things.

I say that to say , when I thought about writing again, it was hard to think about doing so apart from this community that I had already created. I actually tried that before and I just didn’t have the same passion that I have when I write through HIL.

When it comes to my husband and I, our life is full of these unexpected moments that have taken us through the valley but has made us strong enough to come out victorious each time. ALL of it has taught us so much.

We will start sharing those moments again with you.

Thank you for still journeying with us ❤

Fast forward a couple weeks, my mother finds out I’m pregnant unfortunately as she was putting gas money into my purse. Leave it to my disorganized self to leave all seven tests in my bag like some type of Magic 8 Ball hoping when I looked at them, they would somehow change. My father, perhaps worse off, found out after I got into a car accident. A accident which could have and probably should have killed me. I was brought into the ER and was questioned about which tests I can and cannot receive due to the pregnancy. How’s that for a pregnancy announcement?

The next month or so is a blur to me. It seems as I’ve come to learn about myself over the years, that when under extreme stress or trauma my brain prefers to block things out, a protection of sorts. What I do remember however is a series of conversations with my child’s father. Both of us were panicked, confused, horrified and used our humor to cope. For reasons important to us both we decided (even though I had always taken a firm stand against it) that abortion was the best option. Neither of us could handle this, we weren’t even together. So I made a hasty appointment, only to cancel it the day of. As panicked as I was i just couldn’t do it. Simple as that. Call it God, call it nerves, call it whatever you want, but I knew in my heart that I couldn’t take away a life simply because I didn’t have mine together.

When I let my ex know that abortion was no longer in the cards for us, he was very straightforward with his thoughts. Whatever I decided was up to me however, if I decided to mother this child, he would not play a part. There was something so deep rooted in those words that I knew in the depths of my soul, nothing I said would make him say otherwise, Suddenly mothering this child was no longer even a thought that crossed my mind. There are times in each of our lives where it’s as if a light suddenly flicks on. You know without a doubt the path you need to follow and your thoughts become a one track way of thinking. Abortion couldn’t be my path and unfortunately at 18 years old, dealing with numerous struggles of my own, being a mother was also not in my path. This left adoption.

I remember the day distinctly, I was driving around in my always in style bright red 94’ Taurus, it was a gorgeous fall morning, and I somehow landed the day off work. Having recently broken up with my boyfriend of a month (simmer down ladies, not everyone can have long lasting relationships like I can) I was in surprisingly good spirits. While on my way to the mall for some fall shopping and self esteem boosting, I called up a friend to talk about my recent breakup. “Hey, at least you’re not pregnant, that’s a positive right?! Can you imagine?!” Oh I could definitely imagine.. And it was not a thought I wanted to entertain! “Ha! That would be crazy! I should take a pregnancy test just to freak him out!”

So in between my retail therapy and Subway sandwich, I swung by the Dollar Tree for the most generic pregnancy test I could find and figured “Hey, while I’m here I may as well take it.”. It’s amazing the things our brains remember isn’t it? I can hardly remember what I ate for lunch, but I’ll never forget the bathroom stall I was in the day I took that test. I slightly hovered in JC Penny’s less than satisfactory bathroom. While I peed on a stick, meticulously trying to avoid splashing myself in the process, I thought “Huh…I wonder what I would ACTUALLY do if this bugger came back positive…”. Luckily for me I didn’t have to wait that long to think about what my reaction would be. In the time it took me to pull up my pants and text my friend about the embarrassment of buying this test, it was already done. When I looked down it was quite similar to any daytime soap opera when the woman has just had a mind blowing revelation. The lights dim, the camera zooms in, a dramatic slow piano tune starts playing in the background. Time stopped, for what seemed like days.

I stood hunched over this toilet, staring at this dollar tree stick, dripping with pee, that read I was pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. As in, there was currently another life invading my body. My body which just inhaled a foot long sub and was contemplating which pair of tights I should buy. I must’ve read the test wrong. It’s not as if I’m some type of pregnancy test guru. I spent the next hour going all over Lancaster to various stores and bought seven, YES, seven pregnancy tests. Heck, if I wasn’t a pregnancy test guru before, I would be before this day was done. I sped home and guzzled as much water as what I thought my body could handle without actually exploding and locked myself in the bathroom. One by one, while praying, I took these tests. “Dear Lord, PLEASE do not let me be pregnant…you know what I do! Good God I can barely take care of myself! If you have these tests come back negative, I swear, I’ll never have sex again.” That’s typical isn’t it? To plead with God in our most desperate of times as if He is some type of bookie willing to bargain our sins away. Well everyone we live in the real world and God is anything but a bookie. Our decisions are our own and realistically speaking, if you decide to have unprotected sex, chances are you’ll end up like me. On the bathroom floor surrounded by pregnancy tests that seem to be all but screaming that your life as you know it, is over.

So we are and have been in the home study process for quite sometime now. What many don’t realize is that the home study consists of more than just a person coming to look at your home. We have to read books, fill out more paperwork, get physicals, have interviews, have references contacted etc and then pay  $13,000.00 before the home study is complete. We originally thought that the home study would be complete after $3,000.00 but we misread that number and it was clarified today. ( breathe in and out, stay calm). Man, that’s a lot of money!! This is why we have to go back to God daily to gain strength and to trust him that this will come together. The reason why this is so important to get through this part of the process is because it takes a while for the written approval to come in but once we are approved for the home study then we can start our family portal so we can be picked for placement. We would finally be able to meet our birth mom !! How exciting is that!! ?? So exciting to us but we have to get the funds first to make it happen. Here is our most recent fundraiser that we have coming up! Spread the Word 🙂

It will be with Chick-fil-a in Lancaster, PA. You can go there ( December 8th -13th) and present this flyer by paper or on your phone and let them know that you are supporting the “Jason & Ashley Wilson Adoption Fundraiser” and a percentage of your meal cost will go to our adoption acct. We will have our rally night there on December 11th from 5-7pm and would love to have everyone stop by and asks us any questions and also sign a book we will have to show our baby when they get a little older how many people helped to bring him or her home to their forever family 🙂