Category: PCOS

Posted in PCOS

The Beauty in Balance

Posted on by ashleymw88

Those of you that follow me on facebook probably had your newsfeed full of pictures from the commercial I participated in ( i couldn’t help it, I was so happy!!) . I never went into more detail about what the commercial was geared towards because it would of been too much to write on FB and I wanted our  FB followers and blog followers to feel my excitement!!!!!

Let’s Begin!

I have not been shy at all about sharing my struggles with PCOS. As much as there were struggles, there were gains and progress to a healthier me along the process. My former posts on my journey through PCOS described how I did my own research and began to regulate a lot of things on my own, lost weight etc. Although things did get better , there became a point in my journey that was stagnate. I was having trouble getting to my goal weight and my hormones felt very off! It’s hard to explain the feeling because words don’t give justice to all of what you’re experiencing in your body! Some days I just felt so out of touch with the present, it was hard to concentrate, my moods were up and down…. PCOS has much more of an affect on your body other than dealing with infertility issues, there’s more parts about the condition that can truly keep you down. ( I plan to do more advocacy and awareness on PCOS so look out for a few videos coming out about it in the near future).

With this being the case, I kept telling my husband ,” I need to find something else to help. I hate feeling this way!’ That’s when I found the BeBalanced Centers of Lancaster! (Seriously one of the biggest blessings to enter my life!) I had driven past this place from time to time but never went inside. A coworker of mines started one of their programs and said that I should try coming to the Center because they could possibly help me with my PCOS since they focus on helping women balance out their hormones. Well after I heard that, I went right to the BeBalanced Center and said “I need to set up a meeting and talk to someone and get help for my PCOS symptoms”. They were very welcoming and the girl I first spoke to when I walked through those doors said she also had PCOS and many of the products there helped her a lot! I literally wanted to hug this girl!!! You never know how much you want to get well until you experience things that don’t make you feel well at all. Health is such an important part of life and I was at my breaking point and prayed that this program would work for me.

I went for my first appointment and said to the lady ” I just want to feel better, can you help me with that?” We went right in to discussing the plan that I would be on that does help you loose weight in a healthy way while taking supplements that will help to regulate my hormones at the same time. I said “sign me up!! Oh wait..how much is this?” LOL. I’m not going to lie, for the budget we had at the time, it was somewhat out of our price range but I had a really good feeling that this would help me. I was juggling between, spend the money or feel like crap the rest of your life…uhhh… I will just spend the money! That decision didn’t go without having a conversation with my husband first and seeing his thoughts and I just thank God for him because he just said “if you really feel like this will help you then lets budget it in and make it happen!” I was so thankful!

So I started the plan and the first couple of days were a little  rough because your body has to adjust to new and better habits. Within the time frame of me being on the plan, I lost 14 pounds AND I FELT SO MUCH BETTER!!!!! My hormones were finally regulated and I just truly felt good. I thank God often from healing me from those symptoms and sending BeBalnced as a resource to help me in that as well. I would say after a month or two of finishing the plan…we found out about our little bun in the oven. The joy of feeling better must of flowed to other areas as well! haha!

I would just encourage women who are dealing with hormonal imbalances to seriously consider checking  out BeBalanced. Even though it was expensive, I would spend the money again to feel as good as I do now! It was SOOOO worth it! And you get what you pay for.  No need in complaining about something, find a solution to it. For me this will forever be a changing point in my PCOS journey.

With all of these great things that came out of me being part of the program, I was asked to participate in one of their commercials that will be launching this fall. When you have something good, you have to spread the news about it!! I met other women on the set that had their lives changed from doing  the plan and we were all inspired by each persons story! There were stories from women dealing with menopause issues  to needing help to get rid of chronic headaches ,etc. It is amazing what regulating  your hormones and dropping weight can do to help many issues in our bodies. Ladies, you owe it to yourself to fell better! Consult your doctor if you want ( personally I didn’t but that’s just my personal story) , research the program and then make a decision on what would work best for you. Everyone’s journey is different but I am so glad Bebalanced came along my path and I didn’t miss out on this opportunity to find the beauty in balance 🙂

Commercial

Posted in PCOS

Walking in Motherhood

Posted on by ashleymw88

This first trimester has been a beautiful journey  of  extreme fatigue, soreness and hunger like you wouldn’t believe!! But its so beautiful to my husband and I because we looked forward to these days of a growing stomach with life blossoming within my womb.

I must say….moms around the world, do you know how blessed you are? Regardless if your child is growing in your womb, or in your heart through adoption or through the love you show to other parent less children. Moms, you are so dear and children, you are such a blessing.

(Side note : Doesn’t mean those blessings will be perfect angels or easy but they are still blessings, speaking from one who has a bunch of adopted teenage daughters, whooo, my Lord ….. love them, haha. 🙂

It’s the first time we are seeing our baby on the ultrasound screen. The heart is pumping and pumping and the doctor says ” your baby’s heartbeat is beautiful “. Oh my word! We could of stared at that screen for hours! That’s a baby, and its really growing inside of me?!!

Such a miracle. We are just in awe.

A sweet Christmas present is coming December 2015 🙂

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Posted in PCOS

The Surprise Blessing

Posted on by ashleymw88

It was an early Tuesday morning , prob around 3 am. I had missed multiple days for my period to start and I said okay I’m going to take a pregnancy test. Paced around a few because I was excited and nervous. I had similar situations where I was a few days late and then I would take a PT and see a big fat negative. That level of disappointment is hard to shrug off some days but this time, I felt things would be different. “Here I go, test time…try not to peak… Omg, what does it say!?…it says ……….negative?? What? I really thought this time was different”.

I tried to hold back my tears.

I crawled back in bed and layed next to my husband quietly but he knew something was wrong and asked if I was okay. Well, here come the tears. I told him the test was negative…..again. This is what I shared with him with tears coming down my face,  ” I have come to the point of accepting  we may never conceive and I’m okay with that but I just feel like if I’m not going to conceive , God, at least let my body work! Let me get my period on time! None of this lateness that builds up my hope and then I’m disappointed . I feel so frustrated. “. My husband was so empathetic and spoke to me and held me in his arms til I was finished crying.

Later that morning, I decided I would worship and pray as I  drove to work. I decided I  would declare positive things on my life and marriage and claim that we would be parents in Gods timing.

Over the years  My husbands and I desire to conceive and adopt were strong so we asked God for both. We gave God the desires of our heart and asked for his will.

Let’s be honest, sometimes waiting on Gods will can be frustrating and feel like a roller coaster but his plans are perfect so although there were tough seasons we still prayed that prayer.

There were times I felt bitter and hopeless but God didn’t let me stay there. He reminded me of his faithfulness and even sent others to speak words of encouragement to my husband and I. God is so loving and thoughtful to do those things.

One of the things that came to mind is God speaking to me probably two weeks prior. I heard him tell me I would conceive (which i thought would be months ahead) and even what the Gender was :). So I quickly wrote it down in my journal. Later that night I expressed this to my husband and I told him I was nervous. Like he always does, he was calming my fears. “If this is what God has for us,he will provide, we will be okay. This is something we desired, why are you nervous? don’t be nervous”. ( I am so thankful for my husband.)

I think knowing all the transition we had coming up with moving and new jobs made me nervous.

Later in the week I met with my lineage of love group and for prayer requests I asked them to pray for me because for some reason I felt that mother hood and ministry was coming very soon and I was nervous. (Haha! well doesn’t God have a sense of humor).

After all of that worship and proclamation in the car something just felt different. I felt like I still was supposed to take another test. My husband and I went to the store later that night and I got an early pregnancy test that had three test in the box. “OK Lord, please”.

I went in our house and went straight to the bathroom, “mmm, OK..wait for it, wait for it….wait the first line is coming up … A SECOND LINE…OMG” !!!! I call for my husband “Jason , Jason’!!! Come over here!”  He was cooking so he’s like “no come in here” haha. I’m like “noooo you really need to come see this come over here”. He walks to the bathroom. I said “you’re going to be a DAD!! I’m pregnant”!! He was like “Really!!!??? Take another one”. The journey of multiple negative tests affects both the husband and wife. So needless to say in all I probably took 7 pregnancy tests within that week haha!!! I couldn’t see that positive come up enough. I love the clear blue ones because it specifically says PREGNANT.

We were so excited!! We called our parents right away we couldn’t wait!

So why the negative pregnancy test earlier  that morning? I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like it was a test to see if I would still praise God despite a disappointment. Although I don’t pass every test,  I was happy to pass this test and God blessed us so!!

Trusting God during the wait is hard but just keep reminding yourself his timing and  plan are perfect.

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Posted in PCOS

Community / Transition into a new Chapter

Posted on by ashleymw88

Opportunities started to avail itself through conversation with people at church, the gym, etc where pregnancy would come up and I just started opening up about PCOS and it was amazing how freeing that was! I started talking to people that either knew someone that had PCOS or just had  regular issues getting pregnant and they would give tips and suggestions but most of all they gave my husband and I genuine support. ( ahhh deep breath) . It’s nothing like having authentic people around you to be real and truly there for you in the rough parts of life.

I opened up to some of my close girlfriends about it… ( okay I’m back on my soap box…a word to the friends as well..remember the friend opening up to you is pretty sensitive and vulnerable at this time and that is a big step to be opening up on this subject so please be careful of what you say at that time.  Just saying. I’ve seen it happen before where someone says the wrong thing at the wrong time and then sparks fly so just thought I would drop some knowledge in that area of personal life sharing )  and they were supportive. But it was kind of hard to even tell them but afterwards I was glad that they knew why not to  “baby question” either and know what was actually going on.

 

My biggest support came after I joined a “Jumpstart” program through PCOS Divas (check the website out for more info on that program) because after you complete the classes you get invited into a closed Facebook group just for the women who have PCOS and have gone through the jumpstart program. This is such a great support because we all know the different roller coaster of emotions we go through and the difficulties with other symptoms such as having a harder time to loose weight, managing sugars etc. You just need people around you sometimes that speak the same language and you may not have to say much but they know exactly what your feeling. The women there have encouraged me on my worst days and I appreciate them, many of whom I don’t know personally , yet we are still a support system for each other.

Those that know me know that I always contribute my faith in Christ to helping me and guiding me which is VERY true but I am so glad when he sends great people that are here in the flesh to surround you and support you through the valleys as well.

While going through this season, Jason and I had been praying about how God would want us to parent and we continued to grow this desire to adopt. When we got married we always said we wanted biological children and children that we would adopt. God had other plans (doesn’t he always 🙂 in his timing and designing of things but we became okay with that .

So our desire turned into our destiny when it came to parenting. We were called to love those that don’t have anyone to call mom and dad.

We desired. God confirmed it and That was all we needed to move forward.

Posted in PCOS

Telling the Parents / Dealing with Outsiders

Posted on by ashleymw88

In the previous post I gave a little fast forward to where things are now but of course there was a lot of meat to chew on and a lot of other battles to overcome.

Jason and I waited to tell our parents about the whole PCOS thing until we came to full terms and comfortability about it ourselves  to handle whatever feelings and comments may come our way.

We told them all in our own way but it was hard because of course we know they desired to be grandparents at some point and we wanted that too but these are the cards we were dealt with so once again if God wanted us to carry a child at some point we knew it would happen. They all had different responses. Nothing harsh, just different ways of reacting and looking at the situation.

We didn’t feel the need to send a flag flying to all of our family members house saying “hey guess what?” like, there was just no need. We  knew they would know eventually but the only people we felt needed a “formal” phone call on the matter was our parents.

(We would encourage couples to do what you feel is best in a situation like this. Only you and your spouse know whats best for you two but always make sure that you two are on the same page when it comes to telling personal situations like this to others even if it is your parents/family members. okay I’m off my soap box)

So after going through that we then had to deal with people coming up to us saying “When are the babies coming?” “Are you pregnant yet?” ” I can’t wait for you to have kids!” There was one lady in the mall that every time I would walk in the store it would be “are you pregnant yet? I’m going to ask you every time I see you until I see that belly”.

Ughhh ! It was enough to make you sick to your stomach.  We had encountered  those questions in the past but where before it was mere annoyance to give those comments any attention because we were focused on us rather than a baby, became heartbreaking because now this is the time that we actually wanted to be pregnant. I couldn’t be mad at other people because they ultimately didn’t know what was going on but I did vow to myself that I would NEVER ask a women a bunch of times “so when are the babies coming?” because they could be just like me…wondering the same thing..when are the babies coming?

The topic is more sensitive when your going through it. I can only imagine how stars like Khloe Kardashian or others in the lime light persay handle it when people always assume that well ….your a woman so just pop the babies out whenever you feel, when it can be harder to get pregnant than what many know. The crazy thing about PCOS too is that you could get pregnant with a baby and then try for your second one and have a hard time getting pregnant and wonder whats going on. A lot of women don’t know they have PCOS or the fact that many times it can be genetic. Crazy right?

This season just caused for more prayer and more community.

Posted in PCOS

Walking out what you learn.

Posted on by ashleymw88

I showed my husband all of the research I found and we prayed about it and then felt very much at peace and lead to do things holistically.

We had a peace that if God wanted us to get pregnant we would but right now the focus was getting me better so If I did conceive,  I would have a successful pregnancy.

I changed my diet completely! I cut way back on sweets (only had about 24 g of sugar per day), only drank water, ate gluten free meals or a clean eating diet (for more info check the PCOS Divas site that I had in my previous post), stayed within a certain amount of calories (the app Fitness Pal became my everyday go to guide, to help me stay on track) and joined a gym that offered classes that I knew would help me loose weight.

If you do your own research of PCOS, you will see that many women who have PCOS suffer from other symptoms other than just infertility. For me the main symptoms I had was the hormonal imbalance  and missed periods ( I once went 4 months straight with no menstrual cycle). I never knew this was attributed to PCOS until finding out about the infertility issue  and doing my own research. This is where actually finding WHAT I had became a blessing because now I could know HOW to treat it.

 

Literally a month in to me changing my eating regimen drastically and exercising more, I felt 100 % better in so many ways! And my menstrual cycle started to come back. Fast forward 7 months later since the PCOS diagnosis and I have lost 17pounds, been more hormonally balanced and have had full menstrual cycles each month. God is good!

 

Posted in PCOS

Research Time!

Posted on by ashleymw88

I woke up with a “SEIZE THE DAY!” refocused type of attitude.

I had heard all of what the doctors but I said to myself, “There has to be other ways to handle this diagnosis without medication!”

This was one time I felt okay going against what the doctors were saying because it only made me feel hopeless and I knew with this situation I needed a community of people to help me get through this PCOS shananagenz.

I searched Youtube, google, etc . trying to get a good grasp on PCOS and how others have handled it. Guess what I found??….good resources that confirmed diet and exercise played a big factor in reversing PCOS.. But wait didn’t the fertility doctor say that my weight probably wasn’t an issue?? ( I wish you can see my face of sarcasm)

Here are some good sites to grasp a better look at PCOS:

http://www.hormone.org/diseases-and-conditions/womens-health/polycystic-ovary-syndrome ( an overview for those of you still wondering what PCOS is)

http://www.pcosdiva.com/what-is-pcos/    (THIS SITE HELPED ME ALOT!!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2lHBR-bzwY&feature=youtube_gdata_player ( This video helped me alot!)

I felt great gaining these tools ! It was now time to put into works all of the things I had learned about.

 

 

Posted in PCOS

The Fertility Doctor

Posted on by ashleymw88

It was a week day and my appointment was probably around 5:30pm to meet the doctor. I didn’t have work that day but my husband did so we just decided to meet each other there.

The nurse took my height and weight ( I was scared to look at that scale ! )  and then she asked if I was waiting for anyone and I told her I was waiting for my husband.  So she said she would give only a few more minutes to wait for him to show up and if he wasn’t here by a certain time I would just need to see the doctor myself.

I said “okay” and went in the waiting room and prayed to God that he would get there soon, I knew he was trying his best to rush from work and get there. It was literally the last minute before I would have to go in to meet the doctor and here I see RUSHING in ..my handsome husband 🙂 I was so happy to see him!! He told me how he was rushing through the parking lot, etc, and then  I hear …”Ashley” .. the nurse was calling us in to meet the doctor.

He was nice.

He did a questionnaire and asked us to share about our relationship, etc. ( Use your imagination and think of what kind of questions can be asked when visiting a Fertility Doctor, LOL).

And then …. things got real. 

In a nut shell, this is pretty much what the Fertility Doctor said:

He couldn’t give a time frame on pregnancy because most people with PCOS only ovulate a couple of times per year, if ever. He didn’t want to risk saying a time frame either because he has seen people get pregnant that have PCOS  after trying for a while but there  were also people who have PCOS that never get pregnant. Sometimes it depends on how long your willing to try until you just give up.  He told me not to use any ovulation kits to track that because it’s a waste of money. He said my weight didn’t play that much of a key factor but they would run more tests just to make sure there was no diabetes. Once doing a diabetes check and sperm count then they would go from there. There are different medications I could take to help me get pregnant and other avenues that could be available to me to help with fertility but first lets do those tests.

Things got blurry towards the end. It was information overload coming to terms with something I never knew existed. I was doing my best not to cry.

And then the meeting was over. The doctor walked us out. We drove home. I walked in the bathroom and the flood of tears began to flow.

I finally came out of the bathroom. Hugged my husband. We had a good cry and then just tried to encourage each other and find faith that everything would eventually work out.

 

 

Posted in PCOS

The Diagnosis

Posted on by ashleymw88

The Moment you know something is not functioning properly in your body and the day it’s confirmed…..

We had been trying to conceive for about 9 months and although I know the story that for many hold true..some people just take longer to get pregnant for some reason I had a feeling it was more than that for me… for us. Something was up.

I spoke to my husband about going to a doctor just to make sure everything was okay and he was right by my side the entire time. Thank God for his support.

I went and had some tests done and a few days went by and then the phone call:

Doctor: “Hey Ashley, the tests show that you have PCOS”

Me: “PCOS? What is that?”

Doctor: “It’s Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, its basically like if a women was to have anytype of infertility she would want it to be PCOS because it can be treated”

Me: “Oh Ok”

Doctor: “Yup so we will get you setup with a time to meet a fertility specialist and then come back and see me when your pregnant”.

Me: “K. Thanks”.

The most awkward  3 minutes ever. I didn’t know whether to be okay with her response and the way things were said, I didn’t know if I should feel happy because now I finally knew what was going on with me or what. My thoughts were  just all over the place yet I stayed calm. I knew no matter the process, I would come out victorious. I had to stay strong.

I told my husband the news and we agreed that we were happy to finally know what was going on and we would just wait to hear what the fertility doctor had to say and take our next steps from there.