ashleymw88

Wife First

Posted on August 18, 2015 by ashleymw88

My Realization:

Becoming a mother doesn’t mean you forget being a wife.

When you work full time and mommy duty is calling you ( you can become consumed in mommy hood even while being pregnant, thinking only about the baby) , your other role …wife ..can be pushed to the side if you allow it.

Knowing that can be very real , I still try to keep it spicy even though I’m pregnant ;). Other mentors in our life and our weekend to remember sessions ( look at family life today to find any weekend to remember details, it is so worth going to as a couple!!) have taught Jason and I that too which is a blessing. Every season of life will extend a certain amount of time but the point is carving out some of that time to be his wife , not a career woman, not a mom, but his wife.

My husband tells me I’m beautiful all the time when I have no makeup on and am looking like a bum. I just stare at him and then say “do you see what I look like?” LOL! Even though I appreciate those compliments during those times, I still like to get dressed up , put my makeup on, do my hair ( or slap on a wig haha) and look nice for him. I see how his face lights up when I do, do that. “How you doin?” 😉

Encouragement:

Keep dating your spouse because one day the kiddos will be out of the house and it will be just be you and him again. Let’s not loose that fire for our husbands ladies 🙂

PREGNANCY/MOTHERHOOD

Pregnancy Progress

Posted on August 18, 2015 by ashleymw88

Fast forward and I am now 23 weeks! Wow! The time has gone by fast! According to “The Bump” app I have on my phone , the baby is as big as a grapefruit. I think my little one is bigger than that haha! Since my last post we found out that we are having a little boy which is what I felt God telling me those weeks before conceiving ” you will conceive soon and will have a son”. Since that time my heart was set on this little prince that had been on my heart so when the doctor said “it’s a boy!” I wasn’t surprised but just happy by the extra confirmation I was now receiving from the doctor.

Let’s talk about my new doctor…LOVE HIM!!! He is one of those people that you want to be like ” can you please be my friend?” haha! He keeps Jason and I cracking up! Having a great experience with my new doctor and new hospital that I will give birth at has truly been a blessing. This was one of my concerns when we moved during the time we did because Jason and I really liked our doctors back home but God surely blessed us with this medical team. The hospital where I will deliver our little man is very big on the mother and child bonding right after birth. They encourage skin to skin contact right away for as long as possible. I am so looking forward to that moment. 🙂

We have been going to the pregnancy classes and let’s just say the video that showed the placenta traumatized every single person in the room more than the birth itself LOL! Is it bad though that all I wanted after that class was french fries? Such a random pregnancy moment but a trip to Wendy’s was in order to say the least. The most recent class showed a video that focused on the pain you experience through labor and the breathing techniques you should use. I would love to do everything naturally…no medicine. It has been done before so it is possible but we shall see 🙂

Now with switching gears, let’s discuss shopping. There is so much more stuff out there for girls than boys!! Oh my word! Trying to find cute things for his room is slim but then I look around the corner and BOOM! Pink explosion of cute stuff for a girls room. Needless to say, I am still trying to figure out how I want to decorate his nursery. I need to hurry up because December will be here before we know it.

The next thing is planning a baby shower on a budget. Pinterest..you are my friend. Yet, somedays I’m two seconds from telling everyone just to meet me at Chick-fil-a and calling it a day! haha! It’s almost like planning a wedding, “how much can we afford”, “how many people can we actually invite?” etc. It can get stressful but the good thing is, my husband is very supportive and we are on the same page about keeping everything simple. At the end of the day, its not about the glitz and glam, perfect place, perfect decorations, etc its about being surrounded by friends and family that love our son even before he comes into the world. Keeping that perspective helps us to stay grounded and not get all worked up about things.

That’s the biggest thing I have learned while being pregnant. There are just some things I am not going to stress about. I just take a deep breath in and a deep breath out and Carpe Diem boo! ( smile).

PCOS

Walking in Motherhood

Posted on May 9, 2015 by ashleymw88

This first trimester has been a beautiful journey of extreme fatigue, soreness and hunger like you wouldn’t believe!! But its so beautiful to my husband and I because we looked forward to these days of a growing stomach with life blossoming within my womb.

I must say….moms around the world, do you know how blessed you are? Regardless if your child is growing in your womb, or in your heart through adoption or through the love you show to other parent less children. Moms, you are so dear and children, you are such a blessing.

(Side note : Doesn’t mean those blessings will be perfect angels or easy but they are still blessings, speaking from one who has a bunch of adopted teenage daughters, whooo, my Lord ….. love them, haha. 🙂

It’s the first time we are seeing our baby on the ultrasound screen. The heart is pumping and pumping and the doctor says ” your baby’s heartbeat is beautiful “. Oh my word! We could of stared at that screen for hours! That’s a baby, and its really growing inside of me?!!

Such a miracle. We are just in awe.

A sweet Christmas present is coming December 2015 🙂

PCOS

The Surprise Blessing

Posted on May 9, 2015May 9, 2015 by ashleymw88

It was an early Tuesday morning , prob around 3 am. I had missed multiple days for my period to start and I said okay I’m going to take a pregnancy test. Paced around a few because I was excited and nervous. I had similar situations where I was a few days late and then I would take a PT and see a big fat negative. That level of disappointment is hard to shrug off some days but this time, I felt things would be different. “Here I go, test time…try not to peak… Omg, what does it say!?…it says ……….negative?? What? I really thought this time was different”.

I tried to hold back my tears.

I crawled back in bed and layed next to my husband quietly but he knew something was wrong and asked if I was okay. Well, here come the tears. I told him the test was negative…..again. This is what I shared with him with tears coming down my face, ” I have come to the point of accepting we may never conceive and I’m okay with that but I just feel like if I’m not going to conceive , God, at least let my body work! Let me get my period on time! None of this lateness that builds up my hope and then I’m disappointed . I feel so frustrated. “. My husband was so empathetic and spoke to me and held me in his arms til I was finished crying.

Later that morning, I decided I would worship and pray as I drove to work. I decided I would declare positive things on my life and marriage and claim that we would be parents in Gods timing.

Over the years My husbands and I desire to conceive and adopt were strong so we asked God for both. We gave God the desires of our heart and asked for his will.

Let’s be honest, sometimes waiting on Gods will can be frustrating and feel like a roller coaster but his plans are perfect so although there were tough seasons we still prayed that prayer.

There were times I felt bitter and hopeless but God didn’t let me stay there. He reminded me of his faithfulness and even sent others to speak words of encouragement to my husband and I. God is so loving and thoughtful to do those things.

One of the things that came to mind is God speaking to me probably two weeks prior. I heard him tell me I would conceive (which i thought would be months ahead) and even what the Gender was :). So I quickly wrote it down in my journal. Later that night I expressed this to my husband and I told him I was nervous. Like he always does, he was calming my fears. “If this is what God has for us,he will provide, we will be okay. This is something we desired, why are you nervous? don’t be nervous”. ( I am so thankful for my husband.)

I think knowing all the transition we had coming up with moving and new jobs made me nervous.

Later in the week I met with my lineage of love group and for prayer requests I asked them to pray for me because for some reason I felt that mother hood and ministry was coming very soon and I was nervous. (Haha! well doesn’t God have a sense of humor).

After all of that worship and proclamation in the car something just felt different. I felt like I still was supposed to take another test. My husband and I went to the store later that night and I got an early pregnancy test that had three test in the box. “OK Lord, please”.

I went in our house and went straight to the bathroom, “mmm, OK..wait for it, wait for it….wait the first line is coming up … A SECOND LINE…OMG” !!!! I call for my husband “Jason , Jason’!!! Come over here!” He was cooking so he’s like “no come in here” haha. I’m like “noooo you really need to come see this come over here”. He walks to the bathroom. I said “you’re going to be a DAD!! I’m pregnant”!! He was like “Really!!!??? Take another one”. The journey of multiple negative tests affects both the husband and wife. So needless to say in all I probably took 7 pregnancy tests within that week haha!!! I couldn’t see that positive come up enough. I love the clear blue ones because it specifically says PREGNANT.

We were so excited!! We called our parents right away we couldn’t wait!

So why the negative pregnancy test earlier that morning? I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like it was a test to see if I would still praise God despite a disappointment. Although I don’t pass every test, I was happy to pass this test and God blessed us so!!

Trusting God during the wait is hard but just keep reminding yourself his timing and plan are perfect.

MISSIONS

No Normal

Posted on May 9, 2015 by ashleymw88

I was probably 13 years old when I heard the still small voice saying ” I want you to preach my word” followed by a giant vision that has followed me up til this day. I was on a stage preaching/speaking to what looked like thousands of young people. I wondered, especially as a 13 yr old getting that vision , how would I get from here to there? One thing I did know was that my life would never be “normal” . Following Gods lead can have you in one place today and another place tomorrow. Over the years I have seen God totally shake up my life and my plans and although they always turned out for the good, they were inconvenient in our american standards of what convenient looks like.

Within the past couple of weeks of all of this NEW, there are times that I feel like I wish my life could just be normal. I want to stay here in Lancaster, maybe be a stay at home mom, volunteer some places, eventually go back to work, enjoy time with my husband and baby, sit on my patio and call it a night. But that’s not the walk I was called to.

Part of me feels privileged that God would trust me with so much but the other part of me wants to scream, especially when I feel like I have been called lots of times to help organizations in transition which can entail fixing things the last person did or completing something they didn’t do. My flesh says, “I just want to make impact, not worry about being the clean up crew”. My spirit says, “Lord, your will be done”.

The truth is, following the will of God is great, but sometimes it’s messy. Do you remember what Elisha was doing when Elijah came to pass the mantle to him? He was doing the dirty work.( 1 Kings 19: 19-21) . Sometimes God wants to see who will get down in the dirt before he can elevate them to the palace. Even in the palace there is work to do. Elevation doesn’t mean less work, it means you’re held even more accountable because there is much more to oversee and manage.

It’s not going to be easy but it’s going to be worth it. God is in control.

Let’s live a life that is open to what God would want and where he wants to lead us.I don’t know where this new chapter will lead us but I’m going in with my eyes wide open, my hands to the sky and my spiritual armor on. I need thee, oh I need thee. Every hour. I need thee.

And that’s just where God wants us. In that place of full surrender.

This time on earth is temporary so let’s make it count. Heaven is my view, eternity is my perspective.

Signed,

A servant that will go wherever you lead, even when its tough.

MISSIONS

Now What?

Posted on March 30, 2015 by ashleymw88

Did I really just quit my job? Yup! …Okay God now what? We started sharing our decision with those close to us . You should see peoples eyes light up. ” you quit your job, but don’t have another one lined yet?” and our response, “nope, we are just trusting what God told us to do.”

I said this very prayer, ” God you now have many eyes on our situation , I need you to come through big now. ”

I had no idea what I was asking for , LOL, seriously.

In the midst of all of this God started stirring my heart to an issue going on in the world that I was starting to learn more about. The issue of Sex Trafficking in America. The more I learned, the angrier I got. A holy anger, like this cannot happen! I was upset, “God why is this happening? Please free these victims!” I felt so sad for the victims. I felt sick. I felt every emotion possible.

I started to think of my own life and how when I was younger and looking for love in the wrong places, God heard the prayers of my parents because I put myself in many dangerous situations that I could have been taken and someone could have put me in a place where I was also a victim to this horrible mess. But I wasn’t and I needed to do something about those that were.

I asked God to show me what I could do with this passion to see these victims set free. Our God is one that cares about justice in this world. God gives us free will but some people don’t make the right decisions with that free will. There are people out there that want to enslave people and make people loose all their dignity and thats just WRONG! I believe there are some issues that we are just to pray about and others that we are suppose to be an active participant in speaking up and protecting the voiceless. I knew God was calling me to do more than just pray about this issue.

It was time to get to work to bring more awareness to this issue and help to those being held captive. I didn’t know with which organization or when but I knew it would happen.

I reached out to multiple organizations and just prayed God would open up the right door.

Who knew that he would have a better door for me to go through than the ones I was knocking on. :).

This Song Sums up the Call God was giving to me and my husband.

MISSIONS

Mission Field

Posted on March 30, 2015 by ashleymw88

After coming back from my mission trip , I really was thinking about how I could apply what I learned and felt in Haiti back to my community in PA.

I know I came back with greater faith, a new lens and new perspective on my daily life. I once complained about things that I dare not complain about now. More than anything I wanted to make a greater impact for Christ.

I stayed very active in my church, active in my community, looked at my work differently, etc….. and then something started to happen. I felt like God was about to start shifting some things.

Words like preparation, transition, influence …..were starting to circulate in my heart and spirit.

I was starting to feel an unease and restless, like there was more that I was being called to do.

I prayed and prayed and God spoke.

I felt God telling me that it was time to transition from job. I prayed that God would prepare my husbands heart as I revealed this news to him. I wrote down pros and cons to leaving and just shared my heart and what God was saying.

We prayed about it that week and then were in agreement that it was time to move forward. That next Monday I resigned. Due to having a higher position I gave a two months notice in order for there to be a smooth transition.

I had speaking engagements that were to come later in the year and I felt God telling me to cancel them. So I did.

It felt like God was clearing the room for something. Something big. Our job was to be obedient and have faith and God would do the rest.

Mission = Faith.

ADOPTION

Baby Girl ….

Posted on March 30, 2015 by ashleymw88

Jason and I are very open to everyone about our adoption. We believe it is a blessing that we are being chosen for this journey although it’s not always easy we know this is a beautiful part of our story in becoming parents. Since we have chosen to do a domestic adoption ( our child could come from any part of the U.S.) we know that there is a possibility that our birth mom could pick us outside of being connected to our adoption agency.

Well….a few months ago we were faced with that possibility. A friend of mines told me about a baby girl who would be in need of housing within a few weeks and she felt that my husband and I would be perfect for this little girl. The birth parents were, unfortunately, drug addicts and children and youth had to get involved and the baby was taken from their care. At this point the baby was in the care of her God Mother , which was a safe place for the baby to be but after a number of weeks the God Mom wasn’t sure if she would be able to keep her due to her already having a child of her own to take care of.

At this point you can imagine the many thoughts going through my mind, “is this really happening?” “”are we going to have our baby in the matter of weeks” “what will Jason say?” “we have to buy baby furniture” , etc

So I told my friend that I would have to talk to my husband and get back to her. When I spoke with Jason, we were in total agreement instantly that we would take this baby in and that we wouldn’t allow her to go to foster care.

I told my friend about our decision and she text us the cutest picture of this little baby girl wrapped up in a baby blanket.

We started to grow attached to this little one we only knew through a picture. We began to pray that if this was our baby that God would reveal that to us clearly.

We were due to visit the baby and God Mom and talk about what the future may hold. ……. That meeting never happened.

Not many more days went by before I was starting to get this feeling that this baby was not going to be ours.

I expressed this to my husband and told him that we should start to guard our hearts because this what I was starting to feel.

It wasn’t much longer that after we had that conversation that my friend was telling me that the God Mother was starting to get attached to the baby and she was making the decision to take the baby in permanently.

Ouch…it stung a little. It was a hard moment for Jason too. I knew what I was sensing but to actually hear it was a little hard. Although this was the case, I was happy the baby was at least in a good home.

( deep breath) These are the honest roller coaster moments that happens when going through this journey.

I believe that there may be similar situations that come up like this one but in the end God will place us face to face with the child we will know without a doubt is ours and the right doors will then be open for this child to be in our home.

Faith. We just have to keep believing

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ADOPTION

A Financial Update to Our Supporters :)

Posted on March 30, 2015March 30, 2015 by ashleymw88

Thank you again to our wonderful supporters! Sorry we didn’t get a chance to update everyone earlier but since our last fundraiser we had $2,172.29 in donations and our contribution as well to go towards our adoption. We have about $ 7,000 more dollars to raise to get to our last homestudy interview which is where they come to see our place to make sure there is room for the baby. Thank you again for your support and prayers. We know God will continue to help us through this journey. Please stay connected to our blog for any other updates. Ashley & Jason

ADOPTION

Coffee Station Fundraiser for the Wilson’s!

Posted on February 5, 2015 by ashleymw88

Jason and I had a blast! We felt loved and supported and we were at an amazing venue for an awesome cause! What can be better than that!? We know you are all anxious to meet Baby Wilson and so are we! We are looking forward to that day and to also be able to share with him or her how much love and support was shown to get them here in our arms. Although we still have more of a journey to go, we just cannot wait to meet him or her! Below is a video my husband put together of all the pictures taken from our event. We thank God because between the the funds raised from the coffee station, supporter donations along with our personal funds, we are down to needing $8,500.00 before the homestudy final part is completed. Every little bit counts so we know we will meet this goal! Keep praying for us and we hope that you will keep supporting us as well. We love you all so much!!

Jason and I have also entered this sweepstakes to win $5,000.00 towards our adoption. Please pray that we win. It would be a huge help for us as we try to finish up this homestudy. Here is the link to find out more info. If you know other people that are adopting, they can enter it too.

http://http://www.laura-valentine.com/ministry/lvm-award-5000-valentines-day-sweepstakes/