Jason and I are very open to everyone about our adoption. We believe it is a blessing that we are being chosen for this journey although it’s not always easy we know this is a beautiful part of our story in becoming parents. Since we have chosen to do a domestic adoption ( our child could come from any part of the U.S.) we know that there is a possibility that our birth mom could pick us outside of being connected to our adoption agency.
Well….a few months ago we were faced with that possibility. A friend of mines told me about a baby girl who would be in need of housing within a few weeks and she felt that my husband and I would be perfect for this little girl. The birth parents were, unfortunately, drug addicts and children and youth had to get involved and the baby was taken from their care. At this point the baby was in the care of her God Mother , which was a safe place for the baby to be but after a number of weeks the God Mom wasn’t sure if she would be able to keep her due to her already having a child of her own to take care of.
At this point you can imagine the many thoughts going through my mind, “is this really happening?” “”are we going to have our baby in the matter of weeks” “what will Jason say?” “we have to buy baby furniture” , etc
So I told my friend that I would have to talk to my husband and get back to her. When I spoke with Jason, we were in total agreement instantly that we would take this baby in and that we wouldn’t allow her to go to foster care.
I told my friend about our decision and she text us the cutest picture of this little baby girl wrapped up in a baby blanket.
We started to grow attached to this little one we only knew through a picture. We began to pray that if this was our baby that God would reveal that to us clearly.
We were due to visit the baby and God Mom and talk about what the future may hold. ……. That meeting never happened.
Not many more days went by before I was starting to get this feeling that this baby was not going to be ours.
I expressed this to my husband and told him that we should start to guard our hearts because this what I was starting to feel.
It wasn’t much longer that after we had that conversation that my friend was telling me that the God Mother was starting to get attached to the baby and she was making the decision to take the baby in permanently.
Ouch…it stung a little. It was a hard moment for Jason too. I knew what I was sensing but to actually hear it was a little hard. Although this was the case, I was happy the baby was at least in a good home.
( deep breath) These are the honest roller coaster moments that happens when going through this journey.
I believe that there may be similar situations that come up like this one but in the end God will place us face to face with the child we will know without a doubt is ours and the right doors will then be open for this child to be in our home.
Faith. We just have to keep believing
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Ashley Wilson 