Month: July 2014

Posted in MISSIONS

Ohhh Haiti ….

Posted on by ashleymw88

You know that saying that “when things don’t make sense that usually means the assignment is from God” or that other one that says “if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans”.

God does things to show you his mighty work and that he is God. If everything made sense then there would be no need for our Father in heaven.

He’s been doing that a lot in our lives lately.

Local missions have always been precious to me. I have volunteered, mentored, sat in on meetings, loved on my homeless brothers and sisters etc and I always felt that that was my calling to be right here…you know in America.

We saw a video in church about 2 years ago that showed the work a missions team did in El Salvador and from then on I prayed that if God wanted me to go on a missions trip that he would reveal where he wanted me to go and when.

About three months ago, the idea of going to Haiti came up as it was around the time that the Haiti team would soon be formed. I prayed and asked if it was for me to go to Haiti and God spoke so clearly that this was it. This was the trip I was supposed to go on. He sent others to confirm it in my spirit as well so that I could not ignore that this was definitely the trip for me.

My husband is working on his trip, which will be to El Salvador…the first place that ever made us wonder, “is it for us to do a mission trip as well” ?? 🙂

God is up to something good.

He must have something he wants to teach my husband and I.

In this Christian walk, you are always a student learning life through the eyes of Jesus.

 

Gods Plan

 

Posted in ADOPTION

Staying Positive through the Process

Posted on by ashleymw88

More adoption paperwork. More Filing out grants.

With a regular workday and the up keep you have to do for your own relationship , these are the times you request that there are more hours in a day.

I keep reminding myself that the work it will take to gain our baby will be worth it when we finally get to see his or hers face. But can I tell you the truth. The wait is hard someday’s so forgive me if I am not on my A game personality or shinning smile, yet God sends things to my husband and I to encourage us through it all.

The other day we were watching America’s Got Talent and a young man got up to sing. Deep green eyes , singing with all of his soul, telling his story through his words and the strums on his guitar.

They showed his life story and he said that he was put in foster care due to his parents not being the best and it was hard during the years of waiting for someone to come adopt him and love him. He said that he would smile at anyone that would come through the foster care doors for the hopes he would soon be adopted. He felt like unwanted luggage. Until one day…..he met the person who would adopt him and that changed his world completely.

The term “unwanted” hit me so hard. The tears were running down my face as I saw him hug his mom after his performance. She was so proud! She was crying, he was crying and I was crying and my husband was somewhere walking around the house LOL.

That story amongst others continue to give me the hope to press forward until our baby is here in our arms.

My friend who is going through adoption also encouraged me to write the good times down and the things that encourage me about the adoption process so I can reflect on those things when the roller coasters come because they will come.

Posted in ABOUT

Power in a Name

Posted on by ashleymw88

Our plans are not ours to make. We may try to make them but who’s to say they will be kept? God ordains our steps which often times interrupts our plans and sometimes our entire life yet it leaves us feeling happy because those situations hold life and purpose; such things we would of missed out on trying to carry out our own plans thus you get a Happily Interrupted Life.

Posted in MISSIONS

What Missions Means To Me

Posted on by ashleymw88

Usually when people bring up the topic of “Missions” , many will tend to think mission trips, visitations overseas, etc. That can definitely be the case but in that I think we can forget that the current place that we live, work, shop, eat can all be a mission field. Having a healthy marriage and being a representation of that is a ministry and mission. Loving those around you despite their differences can be a mission and the list can go on and on. The challenge is that we don’t leave “missions” per say to that other person but we also self reflect and see how we can make a difference in the community we live in.

 

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( Picture Created from my Church , Victory Church, Lancaster PA)

Posted in ADOPTION

Approved or not Approved ?

Posted on by ashleymw88

It was time.

We filled out the  domestic infant application. Jason and I prayed over it before hitting the submit button and then it was time to wait.

It was probably a day later after all was reviewed and we got an email saying ” You are APPROVED!” Oh My Lord ! Jason and I were so excited !

Even though it is  the beginning we know it is the start to something great. Needless to say every store we walk in to that is even a little baby related my husband is taking pictures and writing notes to prepare for fatherhood. It is so sweet to see 🙂

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Posted in ADOPTION

Finally Revealing to Others our Decision to Adopt

Posted on by ashleymw88

It is always interesting to hear other peoples reactions when you tell them you are going to adopt. To be completely honest, our friends, work  and church family have been  so supportive and have been so excited for us. When it has come to family members … we have experienced a few that haven’t had the most encouraging things to say. We have experienced the “so why are you doing that?” type of tone or outright suggestions on how to get pregnant naturallyinstead, or the ” (us)we are having a baby” , “( them) YAAY!!” ” (us) through adoption” ” (them) Oh (tone drops completely)….well that’s nice…I will be praying for you” type of conversations, etc.

While at the same time there are those  family members and friends that are already planning the baby shower and the baby isn’t even here yet haha!

The reactions are not a downplay to anyone… its reality and something we know other friends that have adopted have gone through. Some people just don’t get it at first but they will come around. And if they don’t that’s on them because we are pursuing the path God has paved for us.

The journey of adoption always brings me to thoughts of the Bible and how Jesus was asked multiple times why he was talking to a particular person or inviting someone in that others cast away; believers have been adopted into the kingdom also when they give their life to God, etc. For Jason and I, this journey to adoption is more than just ” a thing to do” it is a calling. It is Gods plan and destiny for our lives and the way we are called to parent. If God would have lead us to the area of medicine to create another avenue for pregnancy then that is the way we would of gone but it wasn’t and we were okay with it. Even the many times we have been told, ” so many people adopt and then get pregnant, that will probably happen to you too”, its like if that’s Gods will then so be it but if not we are fine just with this path. When we give that answer back, it can still seem like a struggle for others to take in. When you step out on faith ( which within our personal testimony just within our marriage we have done multiple times) and you just do what God is calling you to do there is such a peace that comes from it that others may not understand and at the end of the day you have to surrender those people to God and KEEP moving in the direction God has destined you to go because if you divert from your path just because of the naysayers, you may just miss out on your greatest blessing. Over and over again we have seen Gods faithfulness when we have stepped out on faith and because he is the same God today as he was yesterday we know things will be okay 🙂

( check out James 1:27)

 

Posted in ADOPTION

Domestic Infant, International or Foster Care Adoption??

Posted on by ashleymw88

We have a heart for all children so if we could adopt a child from each sector, TRUST, we would! We felt the most lead to do domestic infant adoption and we know that foster care adoption will be the next step that we will take a time after this first adoption ( see in our minds and hearts we ultimately want 5 children to adopt…only God could give us a love so big but it is there for sure but of course we have to take one step at a time).  We are going through Bethany Christian Services for our adoption ( http://www.bethany.org/ )  and they are FABULOUS to work with! They are so on top of things and they make sure that any couple that gets involved in adoption is well informed. We love them!

Posted in ADOPTION

Pursuing Adoption

Posted on by ashleymw88

I heard my first full run through of adoption at a training that was being given at work and I was overwhelmed. I came home and could hardly go into all the details with my husband without saying every 5 mins, “I just feel overwhelmed.”  I said” how in the world are we  going to jump through all of these hoops to get our baby!?”  All I could think about was prices and deadlines and requirements. Honestly it was too much at one time and my husband was doing his best to comfort me but I was still having a hard time resting in all of the information I received. I went to my PCOS ladies ( in the closed forum I spoke about previously) and I expressed my frustrations and worries.

{See if anything came of this whole experience of learning about this diagnosis, it was that being able to create life was a miracle. I could truly see Gods hand at work after studying the anatomy of a women and all that it takes to conceive. The truth is, even if you can’t conceive, women still have such a piece of themselves that are born to nurture. At least that’s what I felt it was for me. I was born to do and be a lot of things but nurturing and mothering was always part of my DNA .}

The women in the forum started to encourage me and remind me of the things I already knew. There was some little person out there waiting for us to come get them, who was going to be a blessing to us and we would be a blessing to them as well.

One of the other ladies also encouraged me not to look at the entire process but to take it step by step because looking at the entire process all of the time could be a bit overwhelming.

After that day, my husband and I started pursuing the adoption process confidently and didn’t let  fear get to us because we knew we were called to this 🙂

Posted in PCOS

Community / Transition into a new Chapter

Posted on by ashleymw88

Opportunities started to avail itself through conversation with people at church, the gym, etc where pregnancy would come up and I just started opening up about PCOS and it was amazing how freeing that was! I started talking to people that either knew someone that had PCOS or just had  regular issues getting pregnant and they would give tips and suggestions but most of all they gave my husband and I genuine support. ( ahhh deep breath) . It’s nothing like having authentic people around you to be real and truly there for you in the rough parts of life.

I opened up to some of my close girlfriends about it… ( okay I’m back on my soap box…a word to the friends as well..remember the friend opening up to you is pretty sensitive and vulnerable at this time and that is a big step to be opening up on this subject so please be careful of what you say at that time.  Just saying. I’ve seen it happen before where someone says the wrong thing at the wrong time and then sparks fly so just thought I would drop some knowledge in that area of personal life sharing )  and they were supportive. But it was kind of hard to even tell them but afterwards I was glad that they knew why not to  “baby question” either and know what was actually going on.

 

My biggest support came after I joined a “Jumpstart” program through PCOS Divas (check the website out for more info on that program) because after you complete the classes you get invited into a closed Facebook group just for the women who have PCOS and have gone through the jumpstart program. This is such a great support because we all know the different roller coaster of emotions we go through and the difficulties with other symptoms such as having a harder time to loose weight, managing sugars etc. You just need people around you sometimes that speak the same language and you may not have to say much but they know exactly what your feeling. The women there have encouraged me on my worst days and I appreciate them, many of whom I don’t know personally , yet we are still a support system for each other.

Those that know me know that I always contribute my faith in Christ to helping me and guiding me which is VERY true but I am so glad when he sends great people that are here in the flesh to surround you and support you through the valleys as well.

While going through this season, Jason and I had been praying about how God would want us to parent and we continued to grow this desire to adopt. When we got married we always said we wanted biological children and children that we would adopt. God had other plans (doesn’t he always 🙂 in his timing and designing of things but we became okay with that .

So our desire turned into our destiny when it came to parenting. We were called to love those that don’t have anyone to call mom and dad.

We desired. God confirmed it and That was all we needed to move forward.

Posted in PCOS

Telling the Parents / Dealing with Outsiders

Posted on by ashleymw88

In the previous post I gave a little fast forward to where things are now but of course there was a lot of meat to chew on and a lot of other battles to overcome.

Jason and I waited to tell our parents about the whole PCOS thing until we came to full terms and comfortability about it ourselves  to handle whatever feelings and comments may come our way.

We told them all in our own way but it was hard because of course we know they desired to be grandparents at some point and we wanted that too but these are the cards we were dealt with so once again if God wanted us to carry a child at some point we knew it would happen. They all had different responses. Nothing harsh, just different ways of reacting and looking at the situation.

We didn’t feel the need to send a flag flying to all of our family members house saying “hey guess what?” like, there was just no need. We  knew they would know eventually but the only people we felt needed a “formal” phone call on the matter was our parents.

(We would encourage couples to do what you feel is best in a situation like this. Only you and your spouse know whats best for you two but always make sure that you two are on the same page when it comes to telling personal situations like this to others even if it is your parents/family members. okay I’m off my soap box)

So after going through that we then had to deal with people coming up to us saying “When are the babies coming?” “Are you pregnant yet?” ” I can’t wait for you to have kids!” There was one lady in the mall that every time I would walk in the store it would be “are you pregnant yet? I’m going to ask you every time I see you until I see that belly”.

Ughhh ! It was enough to make you sick to your stomach.  We had encountered  those questions in the past but where before it was mere annoyance to give those comments any attention because we were focused on us rather than a baby, became heartbreaking because now this is the time that we actually wanted to be pregnant. I couldn’t be mad at other people because they ultimately didn’t know what was going on but I did vow to myself that I would NEVER ask a women a bunch of times “so when are the babies coming?” because they could be just like me…wondering the same thing..when are the babies coming?

The topic is more sensitive when your going through it. I can only imagine how stars like Khloe Kardashian or others in the lime light persay handle it when people always assume that well ….your a woman so just pop the babies out whenever you feel, when it can be harder to get pregnant than what many know. The crazy thing about PCOS too is that you could get pregnant with a baby and then try for your second one and have a hard time getting pregnant and wonder whats going on. A lot of women don’t know they have PCOS or the fact that many times it can be genetic. Crazy right?

This season just caused for more prayer and more community.